Cuffing Season Is Cancelled

There are a lot of things that are cancelled this year, so lets add this one too. Blame Trump.

A while ago I wrote a post titled “How to respond to Hey Stranger Messages” which discussed some cuffing season etiquettes. This year I gave myself the authority is cancel cuffing season and here by sentence everyone to a celibate winter.

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I feel that things like cuffing season are ruining the traditional dating life that I was taught to have. I am supposed to meet a guy I have common interests with, go on a few dates, start a relationship, blink twice and magically find myself at the alter surrounded by beautiful bridesmaids while saying I do. People get really invested in cuffing season and put more time and effort finding a temporary mate than they do a permanent one. It is not a surprise that things like cuffing season are enticing endeavors, we like things stress free and easy. A good Cuffing season has the potential of pairing you with a great person that you can enjoy intimate times with for the duration of the fall and winter months and casually toss them out as soon as the first flower blooms. We envy social media #relationshipgoals but forget to think about the many arguments and disagreements that may have happened before a picturesque engagement. We are so quick to "ghost" people we like because they are thirsty but we get mad when we don't get any attention at all. 

The desire for temporary satisfaction only hurts us (or the other person) in the end. If you know in your heart that a lasting relashionship is what you want than take yourself off the Cuffing roster. I find that a lot of my friends (both males and females) experience what I like to call Post Traumatic Cuffing disorder (PTCD). PTCD is a mental health problem (totally made up by me because I'm some type of expert) that some people experience after cuffing season, it can affect anyone (males and females alike) and often carry the following symptoms;

1.       Relationship envy- after spending time with a cuff mate legitimate relationship feeling start to develop. You can start referring to the person using pet names (bae, babe, boo etc), which seems harmless but can have lasting and damaging effects.

2.       Relocation envy- Cuffing season works best in locations that experience various seasons so someone suffering from PTCD may want to move to places such as Canada or Alaska where the cold weather seasons may last longer.

3.       Social Isolation- If you broke cuffing protocol and publicly entertained your cuff mate to the point where others thing you are in a relationship you may be inclined to isolate yourself in the periods following to avoid having to explain to everyone that you are still single.

4.       Thot Tendencies- Some people believe that the best way to get over someone is with a new person, false! A PTCD victim may be quick to find a replacement in attempt to recreate what was loss but this only causes more pain.

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Treatment for these symptoms are still currently experimental, So for this year I’m just going to cancel the whole thing since yall don’t know how to act. I really think there should be a dating master class because people just don’t know how to do it anymore. And social media doesn’t make it any better. So as the summer days come to an end how about we all reclaim our time and hibernate alone. So this year when the Ex-Boyfriend comes around or homeboy that you went to undergrad with starts sending “hey stranger” messages politely decline. Instead of bothering you he could go and work on that beard that still doesn’t connect. And for the guys when that girl from the club keep texting you asking when you’re going to take her out kindly tell her you have given your life to Christ and no longer heed to temptresses.

If you are tired of playing games and ready (like for real) to find someone then cuffing season is not the way to go. So go ahead and just erase the Cuffing season draft notifications from your phone, reclaim your time and get more intentional about dating.