Rejection: when you shoot your shot and fail

I don't know why I never learned how to handle rejection. I hope I'm not the only one. 

So I was a girl, who liked a boy. I've always been the one who thought love and relationships where supposed to be simple but I guess not. I got to know the boy, spent time with him and got to a point where I wanted to "shoot my shot" *cues jagged edge we ain't getting no younger* *stops right before the marriage part cuz we ain't there yet*. I wasn't looking for marriage but I wanted to solidify the first steps that would lead to that. I've spent the past few months reclaiming my time but now I wanted to it give to someone that peaked my interest. 

It doesn't feel good, being rejected,to ask for something and not get it. How did we ever become so selfish. Why isn't rejection taught in school? Seems like all the real life skills are purposely left out of most curriculum. I'm at a point in my life where I'm not afraid to be bold and outspoken, not afraid to make the first move and step outside of my comfort zone but I still mourn rejection. Failure is a part of success but I have an easier time accepting that as a fact when it comes in terms of my career choices than my dating choices. I don't want to date a bunch of people. I'm don't subscribe to the whole "you gotta kiss a few frogs before you find your prince" logic. I want my prince to come tall dark and sexy, perfectly package with a stamp of approval from the higher power.

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But back to rejection. All over the social sphere you can find memes encouraging you to shoot your shot, slide in that DM and be bold when it comes to pursuing relationships. Honestly nothing hurts your ego like telling someone you like them and not getting the response you want back. This is when I realized that although i knew how to be a girlfriend (i mean i do have 7 years of work experience in the field) I had no clue how to become one. How do you know someone even likes you enough to take the next step with you? Are you just supposed to sit there and wait until they ask? Or do You have one of those weird and awkward "so what are we doing" kinda conversation, where each party is carefully crafting their responses to avoid fatal blows. Like I just wanna graze you with this bullet not actually kill you. 

But I'm just a girl, who liked a boy, who didn't like me back. Which caused me to go into one of those Issa Rae (Insecure bathroom pep talk moments. 

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"First of all, why you keep taking me out on dates when you know you don't even want my ass. Getting all sentimental with shit and you know your ass wasn't even filling me like that. Really my nigga, like really tho. You just gonna come into my life treating me nice and don't expect me to want you"

Suddenly I snap out of that and reality sets in. Not everyone I like will like me back with the same intensity, i mean that's life right. But I'm not hear to talk you out of shooting your shots. Know that it comes with the risk of missing but after listening to SZA's Love Galore three times and singing extra loud at the part where she says "why you bother me when you know you don't want me" I quickly collect my feelings, put them back into the safe and I am back to waiting for my interest to once again be peaked but someone's fine ass son. 

 

DC blogger