Single Girls on Valentine's Day

There are several types of single girls you'll find on Valentine’s Day and if you identify with one of the personalities described below just try to let know around you enjoy the day, or at least don't ruin if for other people. 

The bitter one- I know that fool did you wrong and we want to sympathize with you, but not today. All regularly scheduled Bae bashing is postponed until February 15, at this time I encourage you to go buy some discounted chocolate hearts and calm the Fck down. If someone just so happens to buy you a card or something red please don’t perform a full monologue about how it’s a pagan holiday and it’s a capitalistic ploy to make more money, just say thank you and go.

The side chick- There is a chance that you didn’t know you were a side chick… until today. If you are just discovering your side chick status then I am sorry to hear that. Go and have a “ni**as ain’t shit” meeting with Ben and Jerry, they really listen. If you are already well aware of your side chick status then I should not hear a peep from you. National side chick day is the 15th so just hold your horses.

The oblivious one- “there is no spoon” (matrix reference). You can’t have a problem if it doesn’t exist. This girl isn’t really annoying but you won’t see a mention of Valentine’s Day anywhere near her. She isn’t really bitter about it but the day has no significance in her life. More people should be like her. This is also not the person you want to share your exciting Valentine’s Day plans with; you will get a cold and uninterested response.

The cuffing season girlfriend- A lot of us may have participated in cuffing season but few have been chosen. If you are secure in your cuffing relationship, you and your human space heater Bae may make plans to go out. Be mindful that you are in a TEMPORARY situationship. All romantic gestures should be taken with a dose of reality. By all means enjoy the day/night but keep him and his empty promises away from your social feed. No need to introduce a guy on this day only to remove him by Easter.

Galentine’s Day Girl- your whole squad single so instead of being sad at home watching hallmark and lifetime movies get the girls together and have a fun night out (or in). But don’t be a jerk and caption your pictures with something like “we don’t need a man” “we all we need” just post your squad goal picture and go.

Newly single and unbothered- (I fall into this category.) You haven’t been single long enough that you feel that deep rooted emptiness that some singles feel. You broke up with your bae less than a year ago and you haven’t withered away into a sad pool of nothingness yet. Enjoy the moment because the next Valentine’s Day may not be as pleasant.

The imaginary boyfriend- Yes please tell us how your man is still out of town on business. Girl bye, if you see your man on social media more than you see him in person then I would question the validity of that union. The light skinned Kappa is no good and your texting relationship isn’t developing into something greater, you should really cut your losses now. But if you want to keep pretending then I will let you have that. Do you boo

No matter which one you identify with try to enjoy the day and remain stress free! Let the lovers have this day.