What’s your credit score is not one of them, although sometimes I really want to ask. I’ve been on enough first dates in the past few months that I am an expert in first dates. Pause for the celebration of my Doctorate in Tinder-ology with a minor in OKCupid Human behavior. First dates can sometimes feel like a job interview. And in some ways it is. That person is applying for a position in your life and unless you time isn’t precious than you should care about who you allow into it. By the time you decide to meet up (unless it’s a blind date, like Stevie Wonders blind, you don’t know crap about this fool) you should know the basics (name, age, occupation, relationship status). Yes, you read that right, I said relationship status, I have known people in relationships that still go on dates, but we won’t get into that right now. Here are first questions to start out with
1. What is the most exciting thing you’ve done/accomplished in the past 5 months
2. What kinds of things do (places you like to do) you like to do in this area
3. Do you have any hobbies you are passionate about
Asking these questions or similar will give you answers that will let you know if you have any activities in common. This is also a way to get a second date. For example if he like bowling and you do too suggest your favorite bowling alley and talk about how you can totally beat him, if you both like each other this will most likely turn into the next date. If you don’t have anything in common after you ask at least 2-3 activity related questions then this may not be a match. Even when there is not a strong romantic connection most people can bond through their love of similar activities.
Ask fun questions. The purpose of the first date is to test the initial chemistry. If you can stand to be around your date for an hour and not vomit it’s usually a good sign. Remember that psychology class you took? Or any episode of Law and Order Criminal Intent (The one with Vincent D’Onofrio)? Use that as your base for understanding humans and their behaviors, the best way to get thru a date is by accurately reading signs. Here are some fun questions that you can use.
1. If our friends ask where we met what would you say?
2. Ask about favorite. Books, movie, sports teams
3. What is your most embarrassing moment
No matter what questions you ask avoid talking about past relationships, if you are still bitter about your past relationship than one question about an Ex can turn into a whole evening of Ex bashing. If you are asked a question give a simple and honest answer and quickly look for ways to change the subject. You don’t need new boo to judge you or your situation right now. It can wait.
The first date should be easy and fun, your job is to just show up, if it goes wrong or if he acts inappropriately feel free to get up and leave, you do have that right.