After the initial shock of being newly single I was not prepared for what was to come after.
I felt for a while that people close to me blamed me for the failure of the relationship. "is there any way you will get back together?" was among one of the most common questions that I got. It took a lot of strength to not get angry and lash out against those asking questions. Some people kept asking if he was OK, my initial response what that I really didn't give a fcuk how he was! I just wanted to be left alone and to get readjusted to life without him. After moving out of the apartment we shared and closing all linked accounts it felt something like a divorce. Honestly I didn't know what I even wanted people to say to me, especially people that I considered "outer" circle friends. I felt angry, sad and confused.
I finally decided to seek some counseling (what!!! black person actually goes to counseling!). The session was very refreshing. I was able to look at the situation in ways I've never did before. I noticed that although my Ex had some behaviors that contributed to the ending of the relationship there were ways that I was actually enabling some of that behavior. Without going into too much detail I can say that I know notice many ways in which I though I was fixing our problems, however those actions further exaggerated them.
There are a lot of lessons that I learned from that relationship. I haven't giving up on love and I do look forward to being in another relationship later on in life. I am now clear on what I want (within reason) in a man, so let the hunting begin, lol!
Share with me some of your post break up blues in the comments below!!!